To the LONGEST BAR IN THE WORLD (TM) at St Pancras, for the launch of Jeffery Deaver's new Bond novel, Carte Blanche. Champagne, Bond girls and Bentleys were the order of the day as the author roared into the top concourse in a spanking new red car. Meanwhile some soldiers abseiled down from the ceiling. I have videoed it for your delectation. Why I turned the phone round half way through I have no idea; it looks like they are abseiling sideways which is less impressive, but never mind. Why they don't do this for every book launch I have NO IDEA. I'd like some soldiers abseiling at my next launch, please. And some Bond Girls.
There were plenty of Flemings in attendance (sp.); one gave a speech. It would have been Ian Fleming's 103rd birthday on Saturday. The author spoke too, his voice booming around the vaulted arches whilst a lone soldier perched far above him, but I caught no more a glimpse of him than the impression of a bald head and a smiley face. My hero Charlie Higson was also there; I spoke to him about writing children's books, and he gave some excellent advice, which boiled down to: cut all the boring bits out. Too right Mr H. I suggested to as many people as possible that I should be the one to write the next Young Bond books (any Fleming publishing people out there I hope you're listening....) and left buoyed on champagne and foie gras, which is as much as anyone can want from a Wednesday lunchtime. I abseiled back, naturally, and am now wearing a white dinner jacket whilst walking along a beach with Eva Green (also Eva Green if you are listening this could happen...)